titles are so hard to come up with

Posted by adamlepp in Life

argh, does it ever stop?  I feel like no matter which way I turn, the battles are heating up.  Every direction is a different challenge and everything is advancing full force.  I can’t handle it.

I am weak, I don’t even want to be strong anymore.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this, but I just think to my self, I don’t even care if I fall into this sin.

Tonight was tough.

It just was.  I long for the day when my faith will be sight, when sin will tempt me no more.  I scraped by tonight, but barely, and only by the strength of Christ.

God is good, all the time.  I need to live my life by that, and pray that I will.

It doesn’t have to be this way

Posted by adamlepp in Life

This is a repost and the original can be found at : http://web.ijm.org/site/MessageViewer?em_id=2441.0&dlv_id=6381

UNICEF estimates that there are nearly 2 million children in the commercial sex trade worldwide. It doesn’t have to be this way. Cambodian law enforcement rescued Veata* (pictured at left with her IJM social worker) from a brothel at the age of 13 with the help of International Justice Mission. She’s healthy and happy today, living in a small aftercare home with caring staff who love her. The traffickers who exploited her are serving 16-year sentences for their abuse. You can help stop these crimes — Share your passion with your Member of Congress. This month, hundreds of IJM supporters will meet with their Members of Congress to urge them to support the Child Protection Compact Act of 2009. This bill supports poor countries’ efforts to stand up to criminals that traffic children by investing in effective law enforcement that puts traffickers and slave owners out of business and behind bars. Please help us make the abolition of child trafficking a priority for Congress by urging your Representative to cosponsor the Child Protection Compact Act today.

*A pseudonym has been used to protect this client. Casework documentation and real names are on file with IJM. Image used with permission.

www.ijm.org | PO Box 58147, Washington, DC 20037
All text and images © 2009 International Justice Mission.

With a strength like no other

Posted by adamlepp in Heaven Bound, Life

I figure I should update since it’s been so long.  These last few weeks have been incredibly amazing!  One thing God has really shown me is how strong He really is.  I mean, I’ve always known in my head that He is strong, but now I’m experiencing it.  All those weeks ago I went into the toughest three battles of my life.  My only armor was the armor of God.  I was going to attempt to do the impossible with no tools or weapons of my own, but the strength of Jesus beside me.

Let me tell you, the guy is strong.  What was originally planned as a week long challenge for myself quickly turned into 2 weeks, which turned into 4 weeks, all they way up until now of win after win.  Of the three battles I mentioned above, this is the one that was the hardest for me and the one I focused on the most these last few weeks.

The other two I’m fairing better than I have before, in fact.  I’ve only sinned a few times total since I made war on them.  Thats far fewer than most DAYS previous.

One other thing, Since I have made war against these struggles, the temptations have never been greater.  It feels like every few minutes, satan is throwing something at me trying to get me to fail.  But Jesus was their beside me every step of the way.  I’ve held on on to Him with all of my strength and cried out to Him on so many occasions recently.  He is there every time.

I encourage you to make war with the sins you are struggling with, to cry out to Jesus and ask for help and strength.  I promise you He will, He’s just waiting for an invitation.

The Atheist Theology Student Who Was Found by God

Posted by adamlepp in Life, Relationships

I stumbled upon a lost forgotten notebook of mine the other day.  I’ve read threw it a few times laughing and crying, remembering what it contained.  It’s mostly a collection of stuff I’ve found and collected over the years, as earliest as the summer after my freshman year (I think).  These works are not my own, but by others.  I want to share some of the more memorable items from it, spanning a few posts.  Enjoy

The Atheist Theology Student Who Was Found by God

John Powell a professor at Loyola University in Chicago writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy:Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the first day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders.

It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn’t what’s on your head but what’s in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped.

I immediately filed Tommy under “S” for strange … very strange. Tommy turned out to be the “atheist in residence” in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father-God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew.

When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a slightly cynical tone: “Do you think I’ll ever find God?”

I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. “No!” I said very emphatically.

“Oh,” he responded, “I thought that was the product you were pushing.”

I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out: “Tommy! I don’t think you’ll ever find him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!” He shrugged a little and left my class and my life.

I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line: “He will find you!” At least I thought it was clever. Later I heard that Tommy had graduated and I was duly grateful.

Then a sad report, I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted, and the long hair had all fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe. “Tommy, I’ve thought about you so often. I hear you are sick!” I blurted out.

“Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It’s a matter of weeks.”

“Can you talk about it, Tom?”

“Sure, what would you like to know?”

“What’s it like to be only twenty-four and dying?”

“Well, it could be worse.”

“Like what?”

“Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real ‘biggies’ in life.”

I began to look through my mental file cabinet under “S” where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification God sends back into my life to educate me.)

But what I really came to see you about,” Tom said, ” is something you said to me on the last day of class.” (He remembered!) He continued, “I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, ‘No!’ which surprised me. Then you said, ‘But he will find you.’ I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time. (My “clever” line. He thought about that a lot!) But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, then I got serious about locating God. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven.

But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit.

Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn’t really care … about God, about an afterlife, or anything like that. “I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: ‘The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.’ “So I began with the hardest one: my Dad. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him.”

“Dad”. . .

“Yes, what?” he asked without lowering the newspaper.

“Dad, I would like to talk with you.”

“Well, talk.”

“I mean. .. It’s really important.”

The newspaper came down three slow inches. “What is it?”

“Dad, I love you. I just wanted you to know that.” Tom smiled at me and said with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him: “The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me.

And we talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me. “It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years. I was only sorry about one thing: that I had waited so long. Here I was just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to.

“Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn’t come to me when I pleaded with him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, ‘C’mon, jump through.’ ‘C’mon, I’ll give you three days .. .three weeks.’ Apparently God does things in his own way and at his own hour. “But the important thing is that he was there. He found me.

You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for him.”

“Tommy,” I practically gasped, “I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He said God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.’ Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn’t be half as effective as if you were to tell them.”

“Oooh . . . I was ready for you, but I don’t know if I’m ready for your class.”

“Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call.” In a few days Tommy called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date. However, he never made it.

He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class. Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed.

He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined.

Before he died, we talked one last time. “I’m not going to make it to your class,” he said.

“I know, Tom.”

“Will you tell them for me? Will you . . . tell the whole world for me?”

“I will, Tom. I’ll tell them. I’ll do my best.”

So, to all of you who have been kind enough to hear this simple statement about love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven: “I told them, Tommy . … …as best I could.”

Its go time

Posted by adamlepp in Life

Wow, these last few weeks have gone crazy fast.  Classes are done (finals too!).  Now were on to Pursuit and then Honduras.  I leave for Pursuit 09 tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. from Brookings.  We’ll get back Friday night.  Then I turn around and leave Sunday night for Omaha and leave early Monday morning for Honduras

I can’t believe an entire year has passed since Pursuit 08.  God really reached me last year while there.  Actually, he turned my world upside down.  He just totally revealed the beauty of His creation.  I remember, the last day we were there, myself and two really good friends of mine climbed up Mt. Baldy.  You could see for miles in every direction nature (untouched by man) created by God.  We pulled out a sheet with lyrics on it and just worshiped our God.  Thinking back on it, I realized it is one of the most vivid memories I have.  The entire week was like this, we would just pulled out a guitar if we had one, and just sing our hearts out.  Camp Judson is such a great place too.  All the distractions of the world today (cell phones, computers, Internet) just were not there.  It was us, nature, and God.  I’m still learning and processing the things that happen at Pursuit last year.  I’m looking forward to what God has planned for us.

So, Honduras.  I sure hope I have everything I need, if not, I’ll have to go get it next Saturday.  I want to thank all of you who have and are supporting me and this trip.  It means so much to me that that you keeping me and the team in your prayers.  Please continue to to.  This is about the time I start thinking about things and am starting to get nervous.  It probably reach me even more this week as Pursuit comes to an end faster than I would like it to.  Thank you for your financial support too.  God made it very clear up front that He would pay for this trip, but even though the needed amount was reached last week, I’m still receiving checks in the mail.  Thank you and praise God for His faithfulness.

God is so good!  Words are not enough to describe Him or His love.

The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you.  May He bless you and strengthen you.

My love to all of you in Christ Jesus. Amen.

yep

Posted by adamlepp in Life

I sit here divided.  I sit here too scared to make any motion that might cause hurt.  I sit here in doubt and untrust.  No one hears my cry, no one responds.  Oh Lord my God, hear my cry.  What does it mean to be free?  Am I free?  I sure seem to be chained down for a free man.  So many thoughts, so few words.  You, oh Lord, full of mercy and grace, catch me when I fall.  Catch me now, and lift me to my feet.  Speak to me, oh Lord, that I might hear You.

-anonymous author