Can’t sit still

Posted by adamlepp in Identity, Life

I have to admit, I’m excited.

very excited.

For a while now, the prophecies have been talking about a great revival.  But everyone of them, up until recently included the word soon.  As in, not now.  We are crossing from soon to now though.  A generation has been rising up for some time now, taking their place, standing on the giants that came before them.  Waiting, watching, seeking, learning, trying. Read More…

Like a Lion

Posted by adamlepp in Identity, Life

A rut.  A very deep rut.  A very deep and wide rut.

You ever drive down an old dirt road and get stuck in the ruts created from the vehicles that came before you?  It’s actually kind of cool sometimes.  You can take your hands off the wheel and the car practically drives itself down the road. Read More…

West, sounds good to me

Posted by adamlepp in Heaven Bound, Hope, Identity, Life

But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish.

Ah, good old Jonah.  I love how Jonah is never running away from some thing, or some place.  But he is always seems to be running away from the LORD.

I like to run from the Lord.  I don’t think I do it on purpose, or even consciously, but I find my self running from God all the time.  This last month or so has once again been one of those times.

Thanks to the help and love of some great friends, I started to dive into my running.  I didn’t even know why I was running.  I had even less idea how to solve my problem.

And to be honest, I think it was/is the same stuff that was depressing me before.  It was just masking itself differently.

So, what is this answer I seek after?  I don’t know entirely.  If there is one thing I’m convicted of though, it’s this:  I need to fight for what I believe is Truth.  I haven’t been.  It’s scary.

So, please pray for  me, that I would have strength, and courage, to always fight for Truth.

I’m Back

Posted by adamlepp in Identity, Life

You might be wondering why I’m starting this post out with a picture of a lion.  I’ll tell you why, just not yet.  This last month and a half have sucked.  I was down and out for the count.

Life was depressing.  I felt like I had offered everything I have to offer and was in waiting mode.

At least, that was the lie I was believing.  Funny thing is, I didn’t even realize it.  A little over a week ago (aka Friday the 18th) two people came to me and asked why I was so sad and depressed.  To the first I replied “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” And “Life is great, I’m just tired.”  I honestly believed the words coming out of my mouth.  It was the second commenter (just discovered that that is not a word) that made me open my eyes to what was going on.  It came as a text message on my phone and went something like this: “Something is going on with you.  You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want, but at least tell me how I can pray for you.”

To the person who sent me that text: I hope you know just how thankful I am for you and that text you sent.

I’m going to call this person Jane.  Jane didn’t leave me much room to run away from the issue and revert to my default answer, but for the first time I didn’t want to.  Part of it has to do with the great friendship I have with Jane and her words carry a great deal of weight, but I was also sick and tried of just pushing this, well whatever it was, off and ignoring it.  I replied with what I believe to be the 2nd longest text message I have ever sent.

Most of my message was pure, unprocessed thought (I am an extrovert after all).  Judging by Jane’s response, I don’t think it made much sense.  It didn’t really make sense to me.  I wish I hadn’t deleted the text yesterday so I could quote parts of it here.  I remember talking about three different things:  I was taking on a new role in my work, I was believing the lie that I’m not good enough, and something else that I’m completely spacing on.  It was getting late so I crawled into bed and called it a night.

Saturday passed, it was ok.  Saturday night however I had my first breakthrough.  I tried praying.  God answered.  Who would have thought!  Basically I just cried out asking for God to help me through whatever it was in my life that was weighing me down.  As I’m crawling into bed, my mind starts racing and this simple but very real thought came into my head.  I had nothing to fight for.

I had come to Bemidji with two passions, and over the course of the school year, I saw them come to pass.  I just kind of stopped there though.  I fought with everything I had to see those passions come to be, but when I ran out of things to fight for, I just slumped over to the corner to stop fighting.  Before this night, I had even made the comment in my head after studying the Armor of God found in Ephesians 6.  ”What’s the point in wearing our armor if there is no fight to use it in?” I asked.  Lol, what should have been an obvious red flag got completely ignored.  It’s really hard to be a fighter if you don’t have anything to fight for.

So Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday all came and went.  They were all meh days, although Friday was pretty cool as I celebrated my birthday (yes 2 months late) with two very good friends of mine.  Saturday sucked as I feel into sin and just didn’t do anything productive.  I crawled into bed, sobbing.

This is where I have to get a bit non-descriptive in what I’m talking about.  I’d love to tell you all, but I want to respect and honor all involved in this.

So, I figured I’d try that whole praying thing again.  ”God, I need your help.”  As I’m sitting there, I figured I really wasn’t getting anywhere, much less falling asleep.  Might as well call one of my best friends from back home.  Except no answer.  Well, back to crying.  Let’s try the calling thing again.  Still no answer.  I gave up and tried to fall asleep.  Out a desperation, I texted my friend from back home wondering what they were up to tonight.  ”Getting ready to call you” said the reply text!  God was about to answer my prayer.

There has been this small issue in my life that I have been more or less ignoring.  When looking at it, it really wasn’t a big deal, and definitely not something worth fretting about.  I did ask a couple people around me, but they all gave me the same response.  It turns out that this issue was a very big deal in my life and affecting every aspect of it.  I couldn’t afford to ignore it anymore.

As I was talking to my friend from back home, I was given a very different answer.  If I were to condense what they told me in one sentence it would be this:  Adam, don’t conform to what the world says but just be Adam.

They also made a comment about how I was being treated like a animal locked up in a cage.  I wasn’t designed to be locked up in a cage.  I was made to be wild (hence the lion image).

So, back to this issue in my life that I’m being vague about.  Well, the world tells me that I should do one thing.  Everybody around me was telling to do the same thing.  To do that, however, was in complete contradiction to who I am.  I could not do that one thing without sacrificing who God created me to be.

I made a commitment last night to be me, no matter the costs.  That commitment may lead me to making a very foolish move, but I would rather make a foolish move than be somebody I’m not.

That was last night.  Today has been the greatest day I had since January.  Praise God.

What’s Up? – Not no more

Posted by adamlepp in Life, Relationships

Scratch that

A little over a week ago, while sitting in the Union at BSU, I became convicted of my use of “What’s up?”  Sure, we use it all the time to greet each other and say hello.  But haven’t we taken it too far?  When was the last time you heard a response other than “not much, you?” or the infamous “the sky” answer?

This short little phrase is so un-relational.  It’s like acknowledge that the person exists, but that you don’t really care how they are.  Shouldn’t we care how people are!?!?!!

That’s why I challenged myself to go an entire week without saying “What’s up?” and instead ask “How are you?”  followed by actually stopping to listen to how the other person is.  I did a horrible job at it the first 3 or 4 days.  I’d start a conversation and realize I’d forgot about my challenge and have to apologize (I got some weird looks) and half start our conversation over asking how the person I was talking really was.

We are well past a week, but I’m going to do my best to completely erase the phrase “What’s up?” from my vocabulary.  I want to care for people and hear how they are doing.  I’m going to listen to their response.  And when I’m asked how I am doing, I’m going to answer them.

Join me in this challenge.  Let’s make a difference in this world.  Bless the people you come into contact with and ask them how they are, and make sure you listen to what they say.

Atheist Poem by Richard Coughlan…and my response

Posted by adamlepp in Life, Religion

I came across this video on youtube the other day.  It’s a poem written and read by Richard Coughlan.  I’ve copy the text of the poem after the video for your reference.

(source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww7ZhBN6iIM)

Atheism offers nothing to me,
it never has and never will,
it doesn’t make me feel good or comfort me,
it’s not there for me when I’m sick or ill,
it won’t intervene in my times of need or protect me from hate,
it doesn’t care if I fail or succeed,
it won’t wipe the tears from my eyes,
it does nothing when I have no where to run,
it won’t give me wise words or advice,
it has no teachings for me to learn,
it can’t show me what’s bad or nice,
it’s never inspired or excited anyone,
it won’t help me fulfill all my goals,
it won’t tell me to stop when I’m having fun,
it’s never saved one single soul,
it doesn’t take credit for everything I achieve,
it won’t make me get down on bended knee,
it doesn’t demand that I have to believe,
it won’t torture me for eternity,
it won’t teach me to hate or despise others,
it won’t tell me what’s right or wrong,
it can’t tell nobody not to be lovers,
it’s told no one they don’t belong,
it won’t make you think life is worth living,
it has nothing to offer me, that’s true,
but the reason Atheism offers me nothing is because I’ve never asked it to,
Atheism offers nothing because it doesn’t need to,
Religion promises everything because you want it to,
You don’t need a Religion or to have faith,
You just want it because you need to feel safe,
I want to feel reality and nothing more,
Atheism offers me everything,
that Religion has stolen before.

And to be perfectly honest.  I 100% agree with the video.  I look around at my generation.  A generation walking away from God.  A generation that associates religion with God.  If all I heard was the things being said in this poem, I’d want nothing other than to be an atheist myself.  So why do we tell people that religion does things things?  It doesn’t.  That’s a face.  Religion won’t make you feel better or or help you fulfill your goals.  It won’t intervene for you or wipe the tears from your eye.  But it makes you get down on bended knee and demand that you believe!!?!  It teaches hate and to despise!!?!  It tells people they don’t belong!!?!  So atheists out there, I come along side you and say way to speak Truth.

But I’d like to share something else with you as well.  A third path (and one that is often mistaken as religion).  That path is the God of Abraham, of Jacob, of Adam Lepp, and many others.  You see, my God does none of those bad things religion does.  My God does not make me bow to Him.  He won’t tell me to stop when I’m having fun.  He won’t demand that I believe Him, He won’t torture me for eternity (quite the oposite in fact).  He won’t teach me to hate or despise others.  He won’t make you do anything at all actually.  However, my God does confort me, and is there for me when I’m sick or ill.  He intervenes for me and takes care of me.  He does care about me.  He wipes the tears from my eyes.  He holds me close when I have no where to go.  He shows me right and wrong.  He inspires me and gives meaning to life.  He saved my soul.  My God is so good to me that He sacrificed His own life so that I might be spared from that eternity of torture that you hear about.  If you don’t believe me, just ask Him.  I choose to, out of my free will.  Because He offered me something that no other religion (or lack there of) ever could.  He offered me life.  He offered me His love.  How could I not receive that.  It was the best decision of my life.

I mean seriously, there are two options right?  You say “Hey God, if you are out there, would you reveil yourself to me?”  If He is out there, He will.  If He isn’t., you might look like a fool for a few minutes but survive just fine.