The art of being pissed at God
Ever get mad at God? I do. A few months ago I was mad. Really really mad at Him. So mad that I basically stood in the shower for half an hour just swearing at Him. If you know me, you know that I hardly ever swear – but I was letting it out on Him.
I’d be lying if I said I even remember what I was mad about. I’ve been in this season of finding some deep inner healing, and that was in the thick of it. Something about how He ditched me when I needed Him the most. Something about how He, God of the universe, let me down and didn’t carry through. It hurt so much. I can honestly say that I was feeling the most pain I had ever felt in my life up until that point and I couldn’t deal with it. It was the most honest, blunt, and real conversation I had had with the Lord in months.
All that stuff boiling up inside of me was released.
And you know what, it was a turning point. The impossible happened next. I got out of the shower, got dressed and found my roommate, Drew. Drew had no idea what was going on inside of me. All I could think of was to ask him to prophecy over me.
So I asked and he prophesied over me. And one-by-one, in order, Drew shared God’s response to each thing I was mad about. It was incredible. I was crying. I think I left a giant pool of tears on the couch that night. But the very impossible happen that night. The Lord of Lords and the Hosts of Hosts comforted me. And showed me just how much He loved me and was always with me, through it all.
How is this an art of being pissed at God? I guess the art is in the rawness of relationship. If your mad or angry at God let him know.
Have you ever been pissed off at God? Share your stories in the comments below.